Irish Medical Dictionary
The Irish have the lowest stress rate because they do not take medical terminology seriously, you are going to die anyway, so live life . . . .
Artery.............................. The study of paintings
Bacteria........................... Back door to cafeteria
Barium............................ What doctors do when patients die
Benign............................ What you be, after you be eight
Caesarean Section........ A neighbourhood in Rome
Cat scan........................ Searching for Kitty
Cauterize........................ Made eye contact with her
Colic............................... A sheep dog
Coma............................. A punctuation mark
Dilate.............................. To live long
Enema............................ Not a friend
Fester............................ Quicker than someone else
Fibula............................ A small lie
Impotent......................... Distinguished, well known
Labour Pain................... Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid........................... A higher offer
Nitrates......................... Cheaper than day rates
Node............................. I knew it
Outpatient..................... A person who has fainted
Pelvis........................... Second cousin to Elvis
Post Operative.............. A letter carrier
Recovery Room............ Place to do upholstery
Rectum......................... Nearly killed him
Secretion...................... Hiding something
Seizure........................ Roman Emperor
Tablet........................... A small table
Terminal Illness............ Getting sick at the airport
Tumour.......................... One plus one more
Urine............................. Opposite of you're out
|